The young woman on the phone wanted to know if she should go back East to be with her boyfriend.
After living with her and her children for two years, he had left to see his children from a prior
marriage, and asked her to follow him. She was reluctant to leave her job and to move her children,
but she wanted to be with him.
Further conversation revealed that he had just slept with another woman, and was threatening to
continue doing so if she failed to move out to be with him.
"Of course you shouldn’t move out to be with him. He’s obviously using you," I said.
"But we’ve had such a good relationship," She reminisced.
"Why haven’t you two married?" I inquired.
She replied, "Well, we both tried it before, and it didn’t do anything for us."
I asked, "Even if you don’t hold to Christian morality, don’t you think marriage means commitment?
Isn’t commitment what you want from this man?"
She didn’t have an answer. She wanted the benefits of the commitment of marriage, but she had already
rejected the demands of the commitment.
She saw the problem in her boyfriend, but she did not recognize that it was her problem too.
Now here’s the crux of the matter. It’s not just the matter of whether you agree with Christian
morality or not. It’s when you abandon Christian morality that you get into a terrific mess.
When you get rid of the "oughts" and "shoulds" of human behavior, you run into all kinds of difficulties
with your relationships and emotions.
Maybe that’s a clue to re-examine the morality you rejected.
If you don’t think so, then how can you gripe about people who fail to meet the moral expectations
that you yourself have rejected?
A perspective from Pastor John Peterson. Pastor
John took a degree in Electronic Engineering at San Jose State College, but decided that a career in
engineering was not what God had for him. He went to Western Seminary in Portland and graduated with a
Master of Divinity in the pastoral major, and then a Master of Theology in Biblical Literature, along
with much of the work for a doctorate. He has served in several churches as the Pastor for Christian
Education, managing the classes and programs for Nursery through Youth and Adults. Currently he leads
the Christian Education program at Antioch Bible Church in Kirkland, WA. John loves to teach and train
and encourage others in the ministry!
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